The Day The Argo Bar Exploded
by Sakura Nightingale
Summary: SAINT SEIYA SAILOR MOON CROSSOVER! What happens when the Bronze Saints and Sailor Senshi meet, but start off on the wrong foot? Total trouble for Jason and his Argo Bar! R&R please!
1. The Saint's Side

Hello! I'm daisysakura and this is my story. I know, it's kinda weird, but I always wondered what would happen if the Senshi and the Saints had a slappin' contest... lol So, anyway, here it is! Please, if you have any bad reviews, make sure they're **CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM** so that maybe, I can make the story better. And by the way, **YES** I love both anime! Oh, and sorry if some characters are OOC! I haven't watched Saint Seiya or Sailor Moon in a loooonnnggg while... But anyway, here's the disclaimer.. _(do people still do disclaimers?)_

**DISLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOO OR IT'S CHARACTERS. I ALSO DO NOT OWN SAINT SEIYA OR IT'S CHARACTERS. IN ADDITION, I DO NOT OWN MAJOR KUSANAGI OR SHINICHI KUDO. KUSANAGI'S FROM GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX AND SHINICHI'S FROM DETECTIVE CONAN. I DO OWN JASON, THE AGRO BAR, THE PLOT OF THE STORY, AND UHH... MYSELF. SO PLEASE ENJOY THE STORY! **

* * *

An angry Athena and a seriously bothered pair of cats paced around in a circle in front of the battered Bronze Saints and the buffeted Sailor Senshi, both masculine and feminine quintets staring at the ground bellow them. The infuriated Jason only stood and watched as the random stones and ashes, remainders from his beloved bar, were swept off the Nagareboshi City streets and disposed of into numerous garbage trucks; an unfit grave, as Jason would put it. Saori was lost for words as were the animals, Luna and Artemis. Their ten warriors continued the stare at their shoes in shame for a while until some of them began bravely lifting their heads toward their leader and their guardians. Finally, the lavender haired goddess' speech returned. 

"What could you all have been thinking?" she nearly shouted and directed her attention toward the five young men who she called her Saints. "And you! I warned you not to do anything you'd regret! I warned you not to get blinded by your egos and _now_ look!"

"You girls have a lot of explaining to do!" Luna lectured the Senshi. "I can barely believe that some of you actually..." once again, the black feline lost her words. Just then, Police Major Kusanagi approached the group. She was accompanied by Detective Shinichi Kudo.

"Konbanwa, minna-san, _(Good evening, everyone,)_" Major Kusanagi began. "I'm Major Motoko Kusanagi of the Asahoshi Police Department Section 9 and this is Detective Shinichi Kudo of the Mouri Detective Agency. We would like to know what exactly happened here tonight."

Suddenly, the entire group of ten began speaking all at once. All anyone could hear was "They started it!" this and "It all happened when they..." that.

"Quiet!" shouted Shinichi. This stifled the many sounds."We're not gonna get anywhere with all of you talking at once like that, so one of the Bronze Saints can go first and then one of the Sailor Senshi."

There was silence as the boys mentally decided amongst themselves who would reperasent the entire group.

"Well..." said the shy, green-haired Andromeda Shun. "I guess I'll start off."

* * *

About a week before the incident, the Bronze boys returned home from The Argo Bar in fury. It is not quite sure what happened between the Saints and the Senshi because the ones who saw how it really began were too drunk the next morning to remember it. All that the semi-sober ones could report was that something happened that upset both Phoenix Ikki and Sailor Jupiter, who were later caught in a fire bird blasting, thunder crashing brawl. This could have been a result of the large amount of whiskey Ikki Nakagawa had taken in prior to this, or perhaps it was the sake Makoto Kino _(Sailor Jupiter) _drank. Either way, the two had a drunken disagreement which soon became one cosmic fist fight. Ikki's always for peace little brother, Shun Nakagawa, tried to pry them apart and could easily stop his brother. However, in her tipsy rage, Matoko directed a swift kick at the blue haired Saint but missed and hit poor Shun square were the rotation of his northernmost star and the rotation of his southernmost star intersected. In other words, Sailor Jupiter accidentally kicked the peace-maker in the crotch. Ouch. The Phoenix was angered even further as he watched his brother fall faster than a shooting star. Soon, the other Senshi came to assist their teammate, as did the other Saints. Pegasus Seiya Takahashi, intoxicated, began shouting random and graphic obscenities about how Sailor Moon _(Usagi Tsukino's)_ odango _(the 'meat-ball head' or 'dumpling head' hair style)_ looked like something he'd seen in his own vomit once. Sailor Venus _(Minako Aino),_ who was maybe drunkest of them all, began he speech about how Cygnus Hyoga Mansky must be good friends with Russian lesbian duo, t.a.t.u. and how he must lick ice cubes all day for fun. Draco Shiryu Tang, who was so in another universe that he could barely stand properly, began making wise cracks about Sailor Mars _(Rei Hino) _being a "pimpin' princess" for "juggling" her husband, Jadeite, and "the j-rock reject surfer dude turned Shinto nun-guy", as Shiryu described him. Once Andromeda Shun Nakagawa finally deemed himself as okay, he began to stand up and found himself going face-first into some other guy's lift-off pad by accident. Upon seeing this, Sailor Mercury _(Ami Mizuno)_ blushed, thinking Shun was gay. Things got ugly when Seiya continued by saying that their anime is full of fan service due to their frequent henshining and they began using their powers against on another. Jason Argo, the bar owner, kicked them all out before they reset the rotation of the Earth. The Saints and Senshi then went their separate ways, both just as pissed as before. And now, the Saints sat together in the living room of the Kido Mansion, wasting away in the black hole of their anger. The funny thing was that no one even remembered which star it was that died and created the hole. In regular human speech, they didn't remember why they were fighting in the first place, but to them, that apparently did not matter. 

"Damn, I wish we could get back at them..." Seiya grumbled. "Damn them..."

"That blonde they call Venus with all the long hair... Heh, I would just LOVE to put some Nair in her shampoo or something like that..." Hyoga grinned at his fiendish fantasies.

"Yeah... Hey, save some for Sailor Mars! Her hair's pretty long too," Shiryu added.

"Sailor Mercury thought I was gay..." Shun said quietly.

"God, I hate that Sailor Jupiter..." Ikki shouted, still a bit of a galaxy short of a sun.

Just then, the phone rang. Hyoga answered.

"Hello?"

"The Agro Bar in three days at 6 PM. Got it? Us Senshi are challenging you guys." said a muffled, female voice.

"Three days and.. what?"

"I said, three days at 6PM!"

"Three days and sticks pee M? What the –!"

"Oh, God.. Whatever..." Hyoga then heard the sound of a cloth being removed from the phone on the other side. Sailor Mars then spoke again. "The Agro Bar. Three days. 6PM. Challenge."

"The Argo Bar, three days, 6PM, challenge?"

"Yes."

"Wait, lemme write this down..."

"Okay then..."

"Someone get me a pencil and a paper?" Hyoga asked. The others scrounged around for the required items. Seiya found a pen, but no one could find a paper.

"Okay, I'll just write on my hand," Hyoga returned to his conversation. "So that's The Argo Bar..."

"Uh huh."

"In three days..."

"Yup."

"At 6PM..."

"Yeah."

"And challenge?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay then."

"Bye."

"Bye." Hyoga hung up.

"We're being challenged?" Shiryu asked.

"Yeah. The Senshi want to challenge us, apparently."

The room was silent. Upon realizing what he had just said, Hyoga too fell silent.

"GAAH!"

"We can't fight girls while we're sober!" Seiya shrieked. "It's wrong!"

"But, we fought girls like Shaina!" Ikki said, trying to calm down.

"Yeah, but _she_ can actually fight!" Seiya replied. "You can't tell me that girls who have to get naked in front of everyone in order to transform, **EVERY SINGLE EPISODE**, are _that_ powerful!"

"But wait! Wait a sec!" Shun interrupted. "What if that's just for show?"

The rest of the Bronze Saints stared at him for an explanation.

"I mean... What if they really _are_ powerful but they just do that to confuse the enemy?"

This new idea sank into the other Saints' heads. This could be true... And if they loose to them because they underestimated them, they'd be known as the Bronze Pansies for the rest of their lives. They could just hear the haunting, taunting chorus of the other Saints now... How Athena's strong, bold, honorable Bronze Saints, sworn to protect their goddess of justice and wisdom, were done in by five planetary princesses in mini skirts with their pretty wands and sparkley attacks. The five young men cringed at the thought of it.

"Okay, then... In the morning, we'll hold a meeting! Just the five of us in my room..." Seiya announced.

The other boys stared at him strangely. Seiya snorted.

"Damn, no one can say 'in my room' anymore without people thinking dirty, eh?"

"Anyway, we should get our rest so we can think straight tomorrow." Shiryu said. "It's already 5AM."

The others agreed and went to bed. The next morning, after having a hangover the size of Jupiter, each of them went into Seiya's room closing the door behind them (which gave Tatsumi ideas concerning what exactly they were doing there which thoroughly traumatized him). The five sat in a circle and appointed Shun as the secretary of the meeting. It was basically his job to jot down each point. By the end of the meeting, Shun's notes looked something like this:

* * *

_**Idea One**: Head-on battle. Go in and do it. - Ikki_

_Pros: We are maybe stronger than them._

_Cons: Maybe we're not._

_Possibility of Execution: Possible._

_Other Notes: Nothing much... Seiya suggests that they might beat us over the head with their wands..._

_**Idea Two**: Yaoi ploy. Two of us randomly make out to distract the Senshi while the rest attack when they're not looking. - Hyoga_

_Pros: Would probably work. "Girls love that yaoi crap." (Hyoga)_

_Cons: What exactly to the other three do, man kissing is not fun (for us)._

_Possibility of Execution: Not possible. No one wants to make out with each other... _

_Other Notes: Apparently, if it comes to that, I have to do it because I'm the most "bishounen" (Shiryu)... And just for that comment, everyone is considering me and Shiryu..._

_**Idea Three**: Flirt ploy. Flirt with them so they'll go easy on us or withdraw. - Shiryu, who is obviously running low on ideas today._

_Pros: "Makes us look like pimps." (Seiya, apparently just kidding)_

_Cons: We already have girlfriends, Seiya especially since his girlfriend is the goddess of justice and wisdom and can probably set him on fire just by looking at him if she really wanted to, and it's a cheap trick._

_Possibility of Execution: Slightly possible for most of us, totally IMPOSSIBLE for Seiya._

_Other Notes: Everyone now wants to do this one just to see what will happen to Seiya... "Just to see if he'll live to see the next day..." - Hyoga_

_**Idea Four**: Embarrassment strategy. Tell them how much you want to see them henshin and in their embarrassment, they will withdraw. - Seiya_

_Pros: "Funny at hell." (Seiya)_

_Cons: Makes us look as low as guys like Miroku and Rei Hino's grandfather._

_Possibility of Execution: Slim._

_Other Notes: Hyoga admits he'd actually like to see their henshins, which got him some weird looks from the rest of us considering that it was his idea last night to put Nair in their shampoo._

_**Idea Five**: Henshin together at the exact same time to temporarily blind them, then while they're stumbling around, attack. - Seiya_

_Pros: "Funny as hell." (Seiya, later got punched in the head by my brother for this idea), could actually work._

_Cons: Makes us look "cheap" (Ikki), "isn't very honorable" (Shiryu)_

_Possibility of Execution: Not much._

_Other Notes: Seiya suggests we find a way to get naked during our henshins like they do so we can catch their attention. Everyone threw pillows at his face._

_**Idea Six**: Withdraw. - Me_

_Pros: No one gets hurt._

_Cons: "Makes us look like pansies" (Seiya), "makes us look like wimps" (Ikki), "are you on crack?"(Hyoga)... Hey! It was just a suggestion!_

_Possibility of Execution: "Slim to none" (Seiya)_

_Other Notes: I'm apparently the only one here who doesn't want to fight and I'm the one that got kicked in the comets..._

* * *

Afterward, Shun read the list over to his teammates. The Saints sighed. 

"Wow.." Shiryu said. "Those plans suck..."

"We're not gonna be able to beat them, are we?"

The boys let out another sigh. Little did they know that they were not the only ones troubled by this...

* * *

Soo, what'd you think? Sorry about the weird space slang.. lol Now remember people! I love both Saint Seiya and Sailor Moon, so please excuse the dissing! Please R&R if you want me to continue! 


	2. The Senshi's Side

Hello, people! T'is I once again! Yesh, I'm finally updating! o.o **(Hallelujah plays in the back) **Anywho, I've been pretty busy over the year and I've ad a TOTAL writter's block for this story.. When I wrote the first chapter, it was kinda a spur of the moment thing, but I've been thinking about the story and the Senshi's side of all this, and I've decided to keep going! FF needs more SM/SS crossovers anyhow. So, without further adue, here is the disclaimer and then a recap of the last chap.

* * *

**DISLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOO OR IT'S CHARACTERS. I ALSO DO NOT OWN SAINT SEIYA OR IT'S CHARACTERS. IN ADDITION, I DO NOT OWN MAJOR KUSANAGI OR SHINICHI KUDO. KUSANAGI'S FROM GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX AND SHINICHI'S FROM DETECTIVE CONAN. I ALSO DO NOT OWN VIDEL! SHE'S FROM DBZ... THE GODDESS THING IS FROM AH! MY GODDESS... PIZZA CATS RESTAURANT IS FROM SAMURAI PIZZA CATS... I DO OWN JASON, THE AGRO BAR, THE PLOT OF THE STORY, AND UHH... MYSELF. SO PLEASE ENJOY THE STORY! **

* * *

_LAST TIME ON "THE DAY THE ARGO BAR EXPLODED"! (Yes, this is the DBZ announcer guy XD) AFTER RETURNING HOME FROM A COSMIC BAR BRAWL, THE BRONZE SAINTS DEVISE A BUNCH OF, FRANKLY, REALLY SUCKY PLANS TO GET BACK AT THE SAILOR SENSHI WHO, IN THREE DAYS, THEY WILL FIGHT! WILL THE SAINTS THINK OF A PLAN THAT DOESN'T SUCK COMETS? WILL THE SAINTS OR SENSHI WIN? FIND OUT ON TODAY'S EPISODE!!_

* * *

Suddenly, the young detective interupted Shun after writting down the most important points of the youngest Bronze Saint's story.

"Okay, I'll let the Senshi go next and then I'll come back to you guys, 'kay?"

The Saints nodded. Sailor Mercury then stepped forward to reperasent her allies.

"Here's how it all happened for us..."

* * *

As you know, there was a brawl that night at the Agro Bar between the Senshi and the Saints for no apparent reason. Both parties were expelled from the Bar by Jason Argo, the barkeep, who almost called the police on both warrior clusters. Instead of going straight home like the Saints did, the Senshi decided to go somewhere else since none of them were fit to drive just yet _(well, except for Ami, but she did not yet have her liscence yet anyway)_. The girls stopped at The Twilight Restaurant which was owned by a friend of thiers, Videl Satan. A waitress took thier order which was simply to speak with Ms. Satan. The waitress spoke to her manager who spoke to his manager who spoke to her manager who finally decided to grant thier wish and Videl was sent to thier table.

"Hey, girls!" she greeted them and sat down. "So what's up?"

"Oh. My. GOD! You will not believe what just happened to us!" Minako started. Videl listened thoroughly to thier horror story about the five, pompus ass "Saints" who called themselves men just because they could get so drunk that they couldn't remember if it was Polaris _(the north star)_ or Pluto that Earth recently realized wasn't really a planet, but an asteroid and beat on some poor girls just looking to have fun at thier favourite bar. The black haired young woman was outraged that anyone would do such a thing, especially to friends of hers. The girls continued talking and dissing the Saints while one of them, who was still quite drunk, slipped away to use the phone. Rei Hino stumbled along through a corridor where the bathrooms and the telephones were located. She began pressing random numbers until they made out a phone number. Who's phone number was it? She had no idea.

The phone on the other line rang and someone picked it up.

"Yggdrasil Goddess Service Hotline; We Sell Goddesses, Not Prostitutes! How may I help you?" asked the voice on the other line.

Rei let out a big, "Wheeeeeehhhh...?" which made the person twich slightly. She then hung up the phone muttering "Wrong number..." to herself.

She then dialed another set of numbers which were more random than the selection of each Youma-of-the-Day on her own tv show. Again, the phone ringed and was answered... by a cat.

"Pizza Cats Restaraunt! May I take your order?"

"Guuhhhh... Are you Seiya?" she asked.

"Ummm... no..."

The fire senshi then merely hung up the phone and returned to her dialing of random numbers. After about five more tries, fate finally decided to cut her a break and let her get the Saints. Hyoga picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"The Agro Bar in three days at 6 PM. Got it? Us Senshi are challenging you guys." Sailor Mars muttered. She had put a cloth over the reciever so that he would not recognise her voice. This fire senshi may have been drunk, but she knew it was hard to forget the voice of someone who had repeatedly harrassed you by asking "What's the hurry?" because you were Russian.

"Three days and.. what?"

"I said, three days at 6PM!"

"Three days and sticks pee M? What the –!"

"Oh, God.. Whatever..." The senshi removed the cloth and threw it to the floor. "The Agro Bar. Three days. 6PM. Challenge."

"The Argo Bar, three days, 6PM, challenge?"

"Yes."

"Wait, lemme write this down..."

"Okay then..."

"Someone get me a pencil and a paper?" Hyoga asked. She could hear the others scrounging around for the things he asked of them."Okay, I'll just write on my hand. So that's The Argo Bar..."

"Uh huh."

"In three days..."

"Yup."

"At 6PM..."

"Yeah."

"And challenge?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay then."

"Bye."

"Bye." Hyoga hung up, but Rei still held the phone up to her ear, wondering with her slowed-down drunken thought processes where he had gone.

After a few minutes, Makoto had came and found her after she had finally realized he'd hung up. Makoto was already pretty sober, as were all the other girls, but it was apparent that Rei had a low alchohol tolerance, so she sobered up a little slower than them. While ridding home, Rei fell asleep... or actually, passed out, and totally forgot about the phone call. Once at home, the five princesses decided to call it a day since it was already 5 AM.

The next morning was pretty normal. Rei had her massive hangover as did some of the other girls. Luna and Artemis were too busy sorting out planetary work to really notice thier sick senshi. Ami decided thier house was too messy and began cleaning.. All was well... Until the guardian cats called thier warriors for a meeting in the living room. The girls' hangovers had, luckily for them, subsided by that time.

"Girls, there is urgent news from Io," Luna started off.

"It seems thier princess has up and dissappeared!" said Artemis. The girls were shocked, especially Makoto. Io, afterall, was one of her closest neighboring kingdoms being one of Jupiter's moons and all and she was good friends if thier princess.

"Princess Guinevere is gone?!" she exclaimed. "B-but how?! What happened to her?!"

"The King and Queen of Io are unsure, but there seems to be great tension now between Io and Lord Arthur's Palladium Saints," the black cat began to explain. "Before the Princess' dissappearance, it seems that Lord Arthur showed signs of affection toward her. You see, he was there to negotiate how a criminal against both the Saints and the Ion Kingdom would be punished and he simply couldn't keep himself away from her. Then she vanished the day before he and his Saints left the kingdom, so now the two are pit against each other. Lord Arthur says that he did no such thing, but..."

She was interupted by a chorus of groans made by her soldiers. Both felines looked confused.

"Of course those Saints say they didn't do it! They'd sooner set thier pubic hairs on fire than tell the truth," Rei commented. Ami looked uncomfortable at the thought of Seiya, Shun, Ikki, Hyoga, and Shiryu standing around, setting one another's pubic hairs ablaze as a sign of protest, refusing to swear to tell the truth while they were on trial. The jurry, the audience, and judge all watch in horror as the police man holding the bible near them backs away from the oddly smelling smoke beginning to form. **(Author's Note: Sorry for such a graphic image.. XD)** She shuddered at the image.

The other girls nodded, still leaving the cats very confused.

"Well, I guess everyone has thier own opinion..." Artemis said quietly. He obviously had no idea about yesterday night's events.

"Anyway, you girls don't particularly need to do anything. The Asteroid Senshi have been sent to investigate the whole thing and if anything goes wrong and they need help, they'll call the Shitennou, but they just wanted for us to inform you girls just in case they need further reinforcements," concluded Luna. "Alright, this meeting's over, girls."

The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. Rei and Usagi fought over a masazine after which Usagi made a spectacle of herself by crying her eyeballs out. Makoto was still fuming over the incident with Arthur and Guineviere. Ami, Minako, Luna, and Artemis, merely enjoyed thier meal, which was rather below par as far as Mako's cooking went due to her rage. The days past, and still, Rei's little conversation with Cygnus Hyoga was forgotten.


End file.
